








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 606 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9641 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7984 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8492 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9001 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,355,181 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank Ocean | 342 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #2 | XXX_._BOOFCHIEF_._XXX | 292 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Crack | 226 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | UwU | 172 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Taylorswiftfan 1989 | 120 | 0.04 | 2 min |





