








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,562 | |
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6599 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8470 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6372 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6872 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,552,612 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1057 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky7up /// | 248 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kessler | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | FinnaNutInButts | 64 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | martini | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Character | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |





