








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 959 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 813 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 827 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,854 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denji | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Hanibalbean | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | zikS | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Livikaa | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Ionut Emanuel Ionut | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | zikS | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Livikaa | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Ionut Emanuel Ionut | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | DvDкα | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | GabyMdn | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DvDкα | 8 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | zikS | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | GabyMdn | 4 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Livikaa | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Denji | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zikS | 150 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hanibalbean | 101 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | DvDкα | 77 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | GabyMdn | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Livikaa | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DvDкα | +2.50 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | zikS | +2.33 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | Ionut Emanuel Ionut | +1.80 | 47 | 41 |
| #4 | Hanibalbean | +0.74 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | AlexCr7 | +0.44 | 56 | 50 |





