








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1167 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1078 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 896 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 890 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,782 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil Twin | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Ember | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Suulut | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | psymind | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil Twin | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Ember | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Suulut | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | psymind | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil Twin | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Suulut | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | psymind | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psymind | 165 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Evil Twin | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Suulut | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ember | 30 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psymind | +3.01 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | TK Soma | +1.07 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | Ember | +0.78 | 59 | 45 |
| #4 | Evil Twin | -0.72 | 73 | 60 |
| #5 | Suulut | -1.48 | 59 | 70 |





