








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7714 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6628 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6190 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4249 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,184,942 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 867 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kurkku | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | de_mid | 49% | 304 |
| #6 | mnt | 48% | 313 |
| #7 | life is dream | 44% | 101 |
| #8 | Jakie Bydlę | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mnt | 35 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | de_mid | 23 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ☮ Marcy | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Megatron - Hacked V2.0 | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Jakie Bydlę | 5 | 0.0056 |





