








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7611 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5954 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3762 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4424 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,511 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 552 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420 DK | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | StyG | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | TheM0nk | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jagthund | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | TheJokester | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheJokester | 332 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jagthund | 259 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | TheM0nk | 220 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | 420 DK | 205 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | BóbbíChúlló | 160 | 0.14 | 3 min |





