








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2083 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2377 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2133 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2142 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,815 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egoist | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Sanzu | 53% | 75 |
| #3 | SlayzouhhHH | 51% | 265 |
| #4 | H4C3_ | 47% | 238 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egoist | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Sanzu | 53% | 75 |
| #3 | SlayzouhhHH | 51% | 265 |
| #4 | H4C3_ | 47% | 238 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4C3_ | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | SlayzouhhHH | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Sanzu | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Egoist | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlayzouhhHH | 872 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | H4C3_ | 209 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sanzu | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Egoist | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egoist | +3.34 | 76 | 48 |
| #2 | Sanzu | +2.64 | 74 | 43 |
| #3 | SlayzouhhHH | +2.62 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | tmesg | -0.74 | 40 | 43 |
| #5 | H4C3_ | -2.92 | 44 | 28 |





