








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 20% |
| Smokes | 248 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 276 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 448 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,661 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeboiswagg01 | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Miecio | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | tubin | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Kez | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Dexter Morgan | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Daddy | 16 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | Kez | 13 | 0.0304 |
| #3 | Pałas | 11 | 0.0188 |
| #4 | ZłodziejSerduszek | 9 | 0.0563 |
| #5 | brokeboiswagg01 | 8 | 0.0544 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeboiswagg01 | 55 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kez | 51 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Drink Daddy | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pałas | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dexter Morgan | 24 | 0.13 | 0 min |





