








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1066 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1503 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1914 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,684 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Toztizz☆ミ | 69% | 105 |
| #3 | Sleepy_Alex | 66% | 29 |
| #4 | meow meow :3 | 65% | 175 |
| #5 | zekebob | 60% | 86 |
| #6 | axxylotl! | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow meow :3 | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | zekebob | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Toztizz☆ミ | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Sleepy_Alex | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | axxylotl! | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow meow :3 | 362 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Toztizz☆ミ | 341 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | zekebob | 105 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | axxylotl! | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sleepy_Alex | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meows on command | +3.12 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | meow meow :3 | +2.65 | 74 | 52 |
| #3 | axxylotl! | +0.44 | 89 | 52 |
| #4 | Toztizz☆ミ | +0.35 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | zekebob | -0.03 | 72 | 43 |





