








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 998 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2763 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1345 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2080 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,205,881 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cröppler | 50 | 0.0339 |
| #2 | Certified Driving Forklift | 42 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | BigBlackEagle | 20 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | LEONARDO<3 | 17 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | MalluGuld | 15 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Certified Driving Forklift | 500 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | Mr Bigbelly | 209 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ShadowSigge09 | 197 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | LEONARDO<3 | 169 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cröppler | 166 | 0.11 | 2 min |





