








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4469 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3050 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2994 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,346 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kassu | 42 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Miikaq | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | SaltyCoffee | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ♚ WOWski ♚ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Elmeri | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kassu | 1132 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | SaltyCoffee | 263 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | lil_Hege | 243 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Miikaq | 225 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♚ WOWski ♚ | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚ WOWski ♚ | +2.24 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Kassu | +2.19 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | lil_Hege | +0.70 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Miikaq | +0.29 | 55 | 57 |
| #5 | Oh dog. | -0.34 | 78 | 57 |





