








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2533 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3488 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2967 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2142 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,714,123 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 482 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasputin | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | bojo | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | 13 STRIPPERS JAMES HARDEN | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | benjo | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | Erling Haaland | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 13 STRIPPERS JAMES HARDEN | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | benjo | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | Erling Haaland | 45% | 80 |
| #6 | Rothschild Israel Chungus | 43% | 63 |
| #7 | dark brandon | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erling Haaland | 37 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | benjo | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Rothschild Israel Chungus | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | rasputin | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | dark brandon | 6 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erling Haaland | 308 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | benjo | 222 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | bojo | 144 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rothschild Israel Chungus | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | 13 STRIPPERS JAMES HARDEN | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benjo | +4.63 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | 13 STRIPPERS JAMES HARDEN | +3.41 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | bojo | +3.37 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | rasputin | +1.96 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | Erling Haaland | +0.60 | 65 | 51 |





