








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1109 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1652 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2062 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,543 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekubegek | 51% | 144 |
| #2 | ⛧Boris Tarkovツ⛧ | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | ⛧Gabimaru the Hollow ツ⛧ | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekubegek | 51% | 144 |
| #2 | ⛧Boris Tarkovツ⛧ | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | ⛧Gabimaru the Hollow ツ⛧ | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekubegek | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ⛧Boris Tarkovツ⛧ | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekubegek | 411 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | ⛧Gabimaru the Hollow ツ⛧ | 36 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ⛧Boris Tarkovツ⛧ | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekubegek | +1.10 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | WeldStar | -0.67 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | ⛧Gabimaru the Hollow ツ⛧ | -1.44 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | ⛧Boris Tarkovツ⛧ | -2.44 | 81 | 52 |





