








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1899 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2851 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2015 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2056 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,411 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnyelek-_- | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Pitrex8 | 48% | 118 |
| #3 | Forklift Operator | 47% | 202 |
| #4 | LeftSide | 45% | 153 |
| #5 | Seicento 900 | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | edyta görniak 203hp | 22 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Forklift Operator | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | LeftSide | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Pitrex8 | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | johnyelek-_- | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forklift Operator | 608 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | LeftSide | 416 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | edyta görniak 203hp | 393 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Pitrex8 | 306 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sawik | 153 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeftSide | +3.08 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | johnyelek-_- | +0.86 | 58 | 36 |
| #3 | Pitrex8 | -0.05 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | nxik77 | -0.72 | 52 | 47 |
| #5 | edyta görniak 203hp | -1.04 | 61 | 69 |





