








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 658 | 25% |
| Smokes | 632 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 721 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 573 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,508 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jari | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | tomppu | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Talanko | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | PALE | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | stxr | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PALE | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | stxr | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | kassu69 | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | NIkKE | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | A$AP VELI | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kassu69 | 5 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | stxr | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Jari | 2 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | A$AP VELI | 2 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | tomppu | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talanko | 87 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | stxr | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jari | 47 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | kassu69 | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | A$AP VELI | 31 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stxr | +1.79 | 56 | 45 |
| #2 | Talanko | +1.39 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Jari | +1.32 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | kassu69 | +1.16 | 59 | 45 |
| #5 | saska | +0.87 | 69 | 51 |





