








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 522 | 23% |
| Smokes | 602 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 448 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 662 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,275 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑉𝑖𝑃 class1c | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | [𝟒𝐛𝐥𝐞] QZiilla | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | F2Keppo | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | The H4 | 36% | 28 |
| #5 | Rain | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | The H4 | 36% | 28 |
| #5 | Rain | 33% | 9 |
| #6 | RedDragonScorpio | 32% | 25 |
| #7 | der boi, der G | 30% | 20 |
| #8 | Nico | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der boi, der G | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | [𝟒𝐛𝐥𝐞] QZiilla | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der boi, der G | 57 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | The H4 | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | F2Keppo | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nico | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | [𝟒𝐛𝐥𝐞] QZiilla | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F2Keppo | +1.29 | 69 | 83 |
| #2 | 𝑉𝑖𝑃 class1c | +1.04 | 82 | 18 |
| #3 | Nico | +0.92 | 48 | 76 |
| #4 | [𝟒𝐛𝐥𝐞] QZiilla | +0.78 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | Rain | +0.77 | 51 | 77 |





