








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1020 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1257 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1480 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1665 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,804 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cursed | 56% | 104 |
| #2 | Stunna | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | supereel10 | 43% | 42 |
| #4 | FancyPants | 38% | 32 |
| #5 | KINKO LUTHER | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Stunna | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | supereel10 | 43% | 42 |
| #4 | FancyPants | 38% | 32 |
| #5 | KINKO LUTHER | 34% | 44 |
| #6 | Soup Time | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cursed | 22 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Soup Time | 8 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | FancyPants | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | KINKO LUTHER | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Stunna | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cursed | 231 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | KINKO LUTHER | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | supereel10 | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stunna | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Soup Time | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHITWATER GAMING | +4.82 | 81 | 39 |
| #2 | cursed | -0.18 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | Soup Time | -1.26 | 22 | 47 |
| #4 | supereel10 | -2.00 | 51 | 33 |
| #5 | Stunna | -2.13 | 35 | 38 |





