








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1918 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1679 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1199 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,867 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | https://chatgpt.com/ | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | limatt | 46% | 57 |
| #4 | sen | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | oleli | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | https://chatgpt.com/ | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | limatt | 46% | 57 |
| #4 | sen | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | oleli | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oleli | 13 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | sen | 11 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | 1 | 8 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | https://chatgpt.com/ | 6 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | limatt | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 175 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | sen | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | limatt | 116 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | https://chatgpt.com/ | 84 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | oleli | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | +1.39 | 58 | 57 |
| #2 | rphal | +1.08 | 86 | 44 |
| #3 | sen | +0.22 | 79 | 47 |
| #4 | limatt | -0.09 | 51 | 28 |
| #5 | https://chatgpt.com/ | -2.03 | 31 | 38 |





