








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3507 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4273 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2735 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,391 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatPizzaDude | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | Creamy | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | DabaRaptor | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | DoDo | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | MaLyStRyXxX | 49% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im So Creamy | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Zenn ♛禅 | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | MaLyStRyXxX | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | FatPizzaDude | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | DoDo | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaLyStRyXxX | 432 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Im So Creamy | 183 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zenn ♛禅 | 160 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | DoDo | 116 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Creamy | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaLyStRyXxX | +3.04 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | Im So Creamy | +2.82 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | Creamy | +1.74 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | DoDo | +0.01 | 63 | 44 |
| #5 | FatPizzaDude | -0.17 | 51 | 59 |





