








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 61 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 70 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 28 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $65,946 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshi.482 | 276 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Weez | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ichweisswas | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | mathi | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Opa auf Koka | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathi | +7.87 | 88 | 21 |
| #2 | Weez | +0.66 | 39 | 31 |
| #3 | Joshi.482 | -0.63 | 24 | 40 |
| #4 | Ichweisswas | -1.44 | 14 | 15 |
| #5 | Opa auf Koka | -1.72 | 16 | 27 |





