








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 779 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2282 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 7917 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 2228 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,902,333 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dohanyindulo | 532 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | [🆅🆃🆁] FERNANDO ︻芫= | 396 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Csordas | 278 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | [🆅🆃🆁]-PRaLa- | 219 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | CoDyy | 180 | 0.19 | 4 min |





