










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 155 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3228 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5498 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5145 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4334 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,068,519 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bopz | 19 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | CSHold | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | UndeleteDanh | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | WuocSama | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Smily | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CSHold | 450 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bopz | 402 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | Smily | 390 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | WuocSama | 274 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | snooze | 264 | 0.32 | 7 min |





