








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1391 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1970 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3007 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1740 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,807 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feeliNumb | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Müder Gary | 51% | 149 |
| #3 | Doofus Rick | 47% | 152 |
| #4 | Hanniball ♥ | 44% | 142 |
| #5 | Turis Fratyr | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feeliNumb | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Müder Gary | 51% | 149 |
| #3 | Doofus Rick | 47% | 152 |
| #4 | Hanniball ♥ | 44% | 142 |
| #5 | Turis Fratyr | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Müder Gary | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Doofus Rick | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Hanniball ♥ | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | feeliNumb | 3 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doofus Rick | 588 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Hanniball ♥ | 513 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Müder Gary | 167 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | feeliNumb | 60 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Turis Fratyr | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feeliNumb | +4.18 | 93 | 51 |
| #2 | Doofus Rick | +2.85 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Squanchy | +0.24 | 56 | 54 |
| #4 | Turis Fratyr | +0.11 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Müder Gary | -0.06 | 41 | 38 |





