








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3220 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4762 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4542 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5307 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,811 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Narceja | 65% | 501 |
| #6 | dbt | 64% | 352 |
| #7 | bOliNhA® | 64% | 153 |
| #8 | jNN10 | 64% | 431 |
| #9 | FreeKrimZネ | 59% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guirere | 40 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | jNN10 | 30 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | bOliNhA® | 24 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Narceja | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | dbt | 19 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narceja | 2479 | 0.26 | 84 min |
| #2 | jNN10 | 1114 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #3 | guirere | 720 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | dbt | 710 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #5 | bOliNhA® | 339 | 0.12 | 9 min |





