








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1346 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1448 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 743 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,193,840 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arse | 51% | 197 |
| #2 | Wiljami Kalapulla | 51% | 119 |
| #3 | Nahka Paska | 49% | 92 |
| #4 | zadydady | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | samppa ribbe szn | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wiljami Kalapulla | 51% | 119 |
| #3 | Nahka Paska | 49% | 92 |
| #4 | zadydady | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | samppa ribbe szn | 42% | 33 |
| #6 | Gigolo Marx | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arse | 44 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Wiljami Kalapulla | 27 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Nahka Paska | 15 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Gigolo Marx | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arse | 458 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nahka Paska | 199 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | samppa ribbe szn | 146 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wiljami Kalapulla | 96 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | zadydady | 96 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zadydady | +2.27 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | iuxuipeg | +1.51 | 67 | 42 |
| #3 | arse | +0.24 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | samppa ribbe szn | -0.91 | 58 | 49 |
| #5 | Nahka Paska | -1.36 | 76 | 37 |





