








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1060 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1191 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 939 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1237 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,803 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sui | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | glizzy hero | 62% | 42 |
| #3 | Sainty | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Sad | 58% | 73 |
| #5 | atlas | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sad | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Phatdoi | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | sui | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | A-wok | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | atlas | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atlas | 312 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | A-wok | 282 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sad | 258 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Phatdoi | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Quavo | 152 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sad | +1.62 | 61 | 71 |
| #2 | atlas | +1.43 | 83 | 76 |
| #3 | Lynxie | +0.93 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Sainty | +0.47 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | sui | +0.41 | 86 | 54 |





