










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
38 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 6 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $24,697 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | froyobob | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | imbetterdanyou | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | meatball | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | phroyo | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | LOUCHES | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | froyobob | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | imbetterdanyou | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | meatball | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | phroyo | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | LOUCHES | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meatball | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | LOUCHES | 1 | 0.0286 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meatball | 26 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #2 | froyobob | 14 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | phroyo | 7 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | LOUCHES | 7 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | imbetterdanyou | 3 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phroyo | +2.54 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | LOUCHES | +1.80 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | froyobob | +1.76 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | imbetterdanyou | -0.28 | 53 | 4 |
| #5 | meatball | -0.45 | 26 | 61 |





