








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 749 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 586 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




185 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15542 | 37% |
| Smokes | 8260 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 10561 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7415 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,317,656 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil bubatz | 76 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | ericsoN | 19 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | VeryGoodToast | 18 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Zer0 | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | MOUVIL | 9 | 0.0025 |





