








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 33% |
| Smokes | 774 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 828 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 842 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,722 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrisbe | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Megabyte_101 | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | ★Astro240ツ❟❛❟ | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Smeik | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | ✘FragShiftヅ | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Astro240ツ❟❛❟ | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Chrisbe | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Eero normal | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Smeik | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Megabyte_101 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eero normal | 133 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Megabyte_101 | 63 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ★Astro240ツ❟❛❟ | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Smeik | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✘FragShiftヅ | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiff Basus | +3.15 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | Chrisbe | +0.88 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | Eero normal | -0.44 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | Megabyte_101 | -0.47 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | ✘FragShiftヅ | -1.18 | 72 | 45 |





