








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 136 | 23% |
| Smokes | 322 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 69 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,760 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cake | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | mönd | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | hapu | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | ciggy rat | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | fanta. | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fanta. | 8 | 0.0251 |
| #2 | toca | 7 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | mönd | 1 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | hapu | 1 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hapu | +6.15 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | toca | +4.71 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | Cake | +4.35 | 45 | 64 |
| #4 | kvle | +1.58 | 40 | 53 |
| #5 | fanta. | +1.45 | 77 | 12 |





