








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 919 | 32% |
| Smokes | 756 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 445 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 729 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,524 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 630 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 150hours/2weeks | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | SLS_04 | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | NivramTTV | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Hawk_oE | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | JTW | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HokieDokie | 6 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | |RbootFTW| | 6 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | 150hours/2weeks | 4 | 0.0238 |
| #4 | Hawk_oE | 3 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | SLS_04 | 3 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HokieDokie | 144 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | NivramTTV | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tazzy1x | 36 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | |RbootFTW| | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | 150hours/2weeks | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |





