








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3322 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2720 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2835 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 800 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,229 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1729 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOTBOT | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | LeBronLeftTesticle | 59% | 125 |
| #3 | leivänpaahdin | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | jusT Quit | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | Turk kebab maker | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOTBOT | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | LeBronLeftTesticle | 59% | 125 |
| #3 | leivänpaahdin | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | jusT Quit | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | Turk kebab maker | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leivänpaahdin | 13 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | LeBronLeftTesticle | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | jusT Quit | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Turk kebab maker | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | HOTBOT | 4 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeBronLeftTesticle | 448 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | leivänpaahdin | 117 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Turk kebab maker | 74 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | jusT Quit | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | HOTBOT | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOTBOT | +2.48 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | Testiculis | +2.38 | 58 | 57 |
| #3 | leivänpaahdin | +1.05 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | jusT Quit | -0.14 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | LeBronLeftTesticle | -0.41 | 58 | 48 |





