








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 754 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7352 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7991 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5596 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6502 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,020,492 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Recappz | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Aztek 𒉭 | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | -gSo- Com!ngSoon^. | 51% | 75 |
| #4 | Maal | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | JAAFAR | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Recappz | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Aztek 𒉭 | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | -gSo- Com!ngSoon^. | 51% | 75 |
| #4 | Maal | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | JAAFAR | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -gSo- Com!ngSoon^. | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Maal | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | JAAFAR | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Recappz | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Aztek 𒉭 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -gSo- Com!ngSoon^. | 287 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Maal | 266 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Recappz | 165 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | JAAFAR | 114 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aztek 𒉭 | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Recappz | +2.68 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | -gSo- Com!ngSoon^. | +0.71 | 73 | 74 |
| #3 | Maal | +0.06 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | ORION | -0.34 | 74 | 73 |
| #5 | Aztek 𒉭 | -0.48 | 81 | 66 |





