








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 20% |
| Smokes | 255 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 150 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 214 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,190 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | pake | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | ππΆπππ | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | aade | 35% | 17 |
| #14 | RAIMO | 29% | 7 |
| #15 | Topi | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aade | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ππΆπππ | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | JOGGELSSON Sakke | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Hude | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOGGELSSON Sakke | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | RAIMO | 33 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hude | 31 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | aade | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | pake | 26 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pake | +5.13 | 98 | 67 |
| #2 | hΓ€mrΓ€r | +3.80 | 92 | 65 |
| #3 | JOGGELSSON Sakke | +2.50 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Tellervo Huovinen | +1.70 | 88 | 34 |
| #5 | paltamon sroudi | +1.25 | 83 | 48 |





