








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8676 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6006 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5997 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3132 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,127 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ares | 27 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Dope | AF | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Uw3mu7 | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | farkZ | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | bert ⛟ | 7 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ares | 1401 | 0.36 | 31 min |
| #2 | Dope | AF | 865 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | Uw3mu7 | 789 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | farkZ | 281 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | bert ⛟ | 263 | 0.26 | 7 min |





