








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1262 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1319 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1125 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1555 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,322,614 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherv | 53% | 83 |
| #2 | tronk | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | Phantom Phalanges | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | TheDesolator ⛟ | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | Smed | 41% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheDesolator ⛟ | 14 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Phantom Phalanges | 13 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | tronk | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Sherv | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Smed | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherv | 299 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Phantom Phalanges | 213 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | tronk | 198 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Smed | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | TheDesolator ⛟ | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phantom Phalanges | +2.83 | 59 | 43 |
| #2 | cabin | +1.00 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | ADD FOR DISCUSS BRO | -0.24 | 59 | 50 |
| #4 | tronk | -0.85 | 44 | 50 |
| #5 | Smed | -0.96 | 64 | 49 |





