








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1476 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1738 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1121 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1308 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,012 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0L1ix | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Tuml1ng | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | BigManThing | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Fallisッ | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Donhamp | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fallisッ | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Donhamp | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | ✪ FalconN | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Licens | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | ✪Mr. Nobody | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallisッ | 8 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | ✪ FalconN | 6 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | BigManThing | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Donhamp | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Tuml1ng | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallisッ | 164 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | BigManThing | 51 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Donhamp | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ FalconN | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tuml1ng | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallisッ | +3.39 | 77 | 43 |
| #2 | mossip1e | +1.71 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | ✪ FalconN | +1.22 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | BigManThing | +0.20 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | ✪Mr. Nobody | -0.43 | 38 | 56 |





