










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2656 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1630 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1790 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1586 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,349 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Console ツ | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | 61% | 114 |
| #4 | slavicbaddie | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Connor | 48% | 60 |
| #6 | Drip999 | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 | 27 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Connor | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Console ツ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | slavicbaddie | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Drip999 | 1 | 0.0051 |





