








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2981 | 49% |
| Smokes | 828 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 686 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1590 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,134 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lenox. ﺖ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Marv. | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | LawEx | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Flash ⚡ denis | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ✪BlechbixX´< | 1 | 0.0021 |





