








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 48% |
| Smokes | 67 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 20 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $37,306 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pusserman | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | cockerman | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pusserman | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | cockerman | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cockerman | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Pusserman | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cockerman | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pusserman | 20 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pusserman | +6.51 | 59 | 68 |
| #2 | cockerman | +2.39 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | _SpitFire_ | -2.07 | 15 | 33 |





