








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 23% |
| Smokes | 962 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1994 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1787 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,563 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flip | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | pitlo | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Rice Cracker | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | k1nG sAs | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | reedrillcad | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | k1nG sAs | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | reedrillcad | 60% | 15 |
| #6 | ♿ Jim | Road to 400 commends | 58% | 12 |
| #7 | MagitDeath | 54% | 136 |
| #8 | ␀ | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MagitDeath | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | pitlo | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | k1nG sAs | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Rice Cracker | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MagitDeath | 464 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | pitlo | 73 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | k1nG sAs | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rice Cracker | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ␀ | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balakae_Blake | +1.80 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Rice Cracker | +1.56 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | reedrillcad | +0.53 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | pitlo | +0.43 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | k1nG sAs | -0.40 | 63 | 56 |





