








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 910 | 34% |
| Smokes | 703 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 584 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 511 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,284 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToucanTrams | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | LOOTER NOT A SHOOTER | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | ToucanJams | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | ThaMFginga | 49% | 103 |
| #5 | Gonzo | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | fahrenheit | 43% | 111 |
| #9 | LarryTheCucumber | 39% | 41 |
| #10 | Hoshu | 39% | 106 |
| #11 | BabaYaga | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | Slinkynewt | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoshu | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | LOOTER NOT A SHOOTER | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | fahrenheit | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | LarryTheCucumber | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Gonzo | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaMFginga | 215 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ToucanTamithy | 190 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | IPyromaniac | 169 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | LarryTheCucumber | 153 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hoshu | 135 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOOTER NOT A SHOOTER | +3.99 | 59 | 57 |
| #2 | ToucanJams | +3.54 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | ToucanTrams | +3.48 | 60 | 68 |
| #4 | ToucanTamithy | +3.33 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | LarryTheCucumber | +3.31 | 56 | 69 |





