








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1737 | 37% |
| Smokes | 850 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1033 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1016 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,927 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnnyolo | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Borghild | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | bERNTSEEN | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Nupi | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | kålv | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bERNTSEEN | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Nupi | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | kålv | 57% | 21 |
| #6 | gepasi | 57% | 35 |
| #7 | jps | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borghild | 3 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | kålv | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | gepasi | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Nupi | 1 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gepasi | 160 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Johnnyolo | 76 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | kålv | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | jps | 50 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | bERNTSEEN | 39 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gepasi | +1.74 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | tyhop- | +1.53 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | bERNTSEEN | +0.96 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | Nupi | +0.58 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | jps | +0.34 | 45 | 75 |





