








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1752 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1599 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 809 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1483 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,113 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaquilleOatmeal | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | LeNomiX | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Hylia | 54% | 106 |
| #4 | Morty | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | blackjet2050 | 52% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hylia | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | blackjet2050 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Morty | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ShaquilleOatmeal | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | rhhyyys | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackjet2050 | 303 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hylia | 280 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Morty | 201 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | rhhyyys | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Beast | 60 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackjet2050 | +1.92 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | Morty | +1.57 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | Rainy™ | +0.80 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | Beast | +0.24 | 47 | 80 |
| #5 | rhhyyys | -0.45 | 46 | 49 |





