








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3310 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4532 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3005 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3801 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,729,810 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CowHitFace | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | War Pig | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | srebbiT | 63% | 118 |
| #4 | Sn4ke_Eyes | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | marc3llo.228 | 62% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | FloDar | 56% | 131 |
| #9 | marcelo | 56% | 36 |
| #10 | Zendora | 55% | 268 |
| #11 | jerryu | 54% | 146 |
| #12 | ATEX | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headzz- | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Zendora | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | FloDar | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | srebbiT | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | marc3llo.228 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zendora | 1356 | 0.24 | 39 min |
| #2 | srebbiT | 579 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | headzz- | 468 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | jerryu | 369 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | FloDar | 263 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srebbiT | +2.41 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | CowHitFace | +1.72 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | Just1n | +1.48 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | Sn4ke_Eyes | +1.37 | 86 | 67 |
| #5 | headzz- | +0.76 | 81 | 63 |





