








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2042 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1002 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1903 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1507 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,834 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 | 59% | 85 |
| #2 | Mass | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Shah | 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 | 59% | 85 |
| #2 | Mass | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Shah | 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Shah | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Mass | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 | 289 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mass | 155 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shah | 119 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake_ | +1.19 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 | +0.58 | 77 | 72 |
| #3 | Shah | -0.34 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Mass | -0.74 | 54 | 61 |





