








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3330 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5209 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3913 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5643 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,906,038 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 721 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rain | 24 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Ryan26 | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | JesusShuttersworth | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | FalleN_l1fe | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | 春日部防卫队小爱 | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rain | 884 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | R1ngo | 243 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | S1lVer | 198 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Himmel大猪咪 | 170 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | 春日部防卫队小爱 | 142 | 0.13 | 4 min |





