








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2313 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1056 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1827 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1327 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,872 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skoda gang | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | Meix | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | Kapten impatents | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skoda gang | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | Meix | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | Kapten impatents | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meix | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Kapten impatents | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Skoda gang | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meix | 149 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Skoda gang | 78 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kapten impatents | 52 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meix | +4.90 | 97 | 59 |
| #2 | Skoda gang | +1.38 | 75 | 46 |
| #3 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | -2.25 | 49 | 26 |
| #4 | Meelis | -2.74 | 39 | 60 |
| #5 | Kapten impatents | -2.77 | 46 | 26 |





