








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
60 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 28 | 25% |
| Smokes | 16 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 34 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 33 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $16,277 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickles | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Indian Street Food | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Mikey | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | Phukstick | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickles | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Indian Street Food | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Mikey | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | Phukstick | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickles | 3 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | Indian Street Food | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickles | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | Phukstick | 4 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Indian Street Food | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thomas the twat engine | +1.78 | 65 | 48 |
| #2 | pickles | -0.21 | 36 | 15 |
| #3 | Indian Street Food | -2.25 | 43 | 23 |
| #4 | Phukstick | -9.06 | 41 | 31 |
| #5 | Mikey | -10.25 | 39 | 24 |





