








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4891 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2396 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2184 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2652 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,156 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NahtE | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | Outsider | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | Grindi | 53% | 45 |
| #7 | BeastingBeauty | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | Jswack | 40% | 47 |





